Inspiration from bravegirlsclub.com

This blog post is for anyone with a broken heart right now…anyone with a broken spirit…anyone with broken wings….anyone who is trying to figure out how to put their life back together. This is for you……

I then went on to tell her about the dreams I was having and the way I was feeling and the books I was reading and how everything just pointed to broken wings…..wings that felt like they could never heal or mend…..that my best years were over…….and…how devastating that was. How permanent it felt.

I told her how I’d always been a huge proponent of PICK YOURSELF UP, DUST YOURSELF OFF and START ALL OVER AGAIN. I told her this time it was different. I couldn’t do it….I felt broken and I didn’t know how to ever feel whole again.

I told her about the recurring dream…..of being a little birdie, and sitting under the tree watching all of the other birds fly…..birds I used to fly with….and new birds…and birds that didn’t even know how to fly when I used to fly up there….but now they are flying. I told her how I would just sit under the tree and watch all the birds fly, and cry…..BUT, that I didn’t know for sure why….I wasn’t sure if I couldn’t fly, or if I wouldn’t fly. All I knew is that I wasn’t flying, and that it hurt.

I told her that I read books about how to find your passion, how to ‘fly’….I read books about how to find out who you are and what you want to do with your life…

But…….they only made things worse. You see, I told her…I KNOW how to fly. I have flown before…I used to fly fly fly day and night. I don’t need anyone else to show me how to fly or how to find my wings……my wings are broken….what do you do when your wings are broken?Well, it hurts. It doesn’t make sense…I think that’s one of the hardest parts….that, one day you feel like you could conquer the world and soar to the highest heights…one day you feel like you are riding the wind, letting the current take you away…..everything flows….you have a bird’s eye view of life….

and then, something happens….and now that I have been through it, I am seeing it happen again and again to other birds….and it doesn’t matter why you feel like you lost your wings or that they are broken past repair…. doesn’t matter…it all hurts the same….and lots of times it leaves you to crash to the ground in a botched emergency landing.

there’s one truth that ties it all together, though…….that you WILL fly again….you will.

Now…let me tell you what else I learned today..I learned what to do when you find an injured bird……directly from the ornithology society it says…

“Place an injured bird in a covered box (with air holes punched in it), and keep it in a warm, QUIET place. Do not try to administer first aid, offer food or water to the bird, and avoid lifting the lid to check on its condition. The less it sees of you, the less stress it will experience, and the better its chances for recovery will be.“

So…are you giving yourself a break? Are you letting yourself heal up? Are you understanding that it’s ok if you need to be left alone to get things figured out? For me….once I was in a “covered box in a warm quiet place” I was really able to let God do what He needed to do for me….but that took lots of trust. That’s back at the end of 2007 when I CLOSED FOR RESTORATION….I really did too….we moved way out in the country, an hour away from everything for a whole year….that wasn’t planned on my part, but it sure was exactly what I needed.

so here’s me…..a little flying birdie……and it feels so good….even though I am not one of those really fast and really elegant and really exotic birdies….I am who i am and I am flying….and I am so happy. It was time for me to fly again….and it was not on MY timeline because I would have chosen for it to come much sooner…BUT….God is never early and never late…but always right on time….(in the words of Egonda’s daddy, one of my greatest teachers)

I will leave you with one final little message from my sage friend, Mary Kay……..we sat in her Pilates studio earlier this week…..and, as she always does, she coached me with some really wise words……she said….that she wishes that New Year’s resolutions did not come in January…that it’s just the worst, most unnatural time..during the Winter..when everything is dormant and we can not plant or grow anything…that it is just not natural…that winter is for rest and renewal and recharging…..and that spring will come soon enough….
and I realized….that flying is that way too….some years we are in the winter of our life……..and it seems like nothing is happening…that everything has stopped…that it’s cold and lifeless…but, it’s only a season…and then spring comes…and we can fly again.
YOU WILL FLY AGAIN…I just know it. YOU WILL. Now…go make a list of all the things you can do while you are in your little box, resting, mending, healing….make that time for yourself…because before you know it…you will be soaring….

-          Melody from Bravegirlsclub.com